A Silent Return

My love for blogger will always remain there. After a gap of almost a year on blogspot and a total absence of more than a year has brought me back to blogging- may be this time it's a loyal blogger. (though there were some posts in that silent past). Maybe (Read 'actually') i wanted to avoid mob (a few people) around me. But for how long and who gives a 8888? Right?

GH, this time, is more sensible than he was in his past. He turned 27 this December. 27?? Yes. Wisdom tooth appeared long ago but wisdom and maturity were just following by. They shew their signs a bit late. Apart from it he has grown somewhat more gloomy and silent. Learning process has been stopped. This thing dreaded him so much that he was compelled to jolt his mind again. so here he is ... writing again. He forgot simple 'is, are, am' and even 19x19 was a big ? for him. An obvious downfall and a slow progression towards mental degradation - an ultimate death? And this is his greatest fear these days.

Another change he noticed that now he prefers clean humor. (ah dry throat ... picks up the 1.5 liter bottle of coke filled with water and guzzles). Well i have forgotten what i had had in my mind. Umm ... well ... ok let's start a new story, new paragraph.

Bloggers who inspired me once in the very early days of my blogging - it dates back to 2004, sighs, four years since then, are either not into blogging or have changed their writing styles or have simply said farewell to blogging. I wish some day they restart blogging the way it was.

There were many ups and downs in 2007 - an year of loneliness. My best companion was my PC throughout the year. Financially, it was a perfect year. I made several plans about several things and wasted time properly! 08 will be a year of many good changes, inshaAllah.

Now some goings on of the day: A person from previous company called in and offered me to join again. No doubt it was a lucrative job but then i wanted to move forward rather than taking a step back. Softly and respectfully told him that i was satisfied with my present job - that plain and prompt reply was a bit unexpected for him - and i could image the change in his facial expressions from normal to a slight disbelief. What an opportunity loser i am, he might have been thinking this for next one minute or so.

I don't want to go back and waste my time, life and everything associated. It hurts me - it really does, believe me.

And ten minutes before off time today, in my manager's office, seated in a chair where i was trying to read a letter placed on his table in a stealthy manner while he was on phone waiting for the call to be picked up from the other end, he just noticed my activity and nodded 'yes?' just to tell that i wasn't supposed to read that letter, i felt a bit ashamed of myself. Yes, i wasn't supposed to do that. But sometimes, we do such childish things.

Have an appointment from dentist tomorrow that required me to get blood tests again so that she can use her surgical instruments without any fear that the patient is not a carrier of HIV and Hepatitis. There was an HCV test too, I guess i have produced the correct name.

I've a plenty of work piled up on my office desk which requires a big brain and a plenty of hard work. Sometimes i badly realize that i am back to school again - where we don't have summer or winter vacations and no BATA kay Black school shoes and heavy school bags! But we have books. And pencils - as i still prefer them and feel a certain type of satisfaction when i sharp a pencil and hear the sound of sharpening, its fine and soft round flake that comes off the pencil and an attempt to sharp without segmenting the flake in a single go ... and then blowing away the sharp black filings from the sharpener blade - this habit was so strong that even today i keep it and try to sharp the pencil same way i used to in my childhood where we were forced to write with pencils despite our greatest charm-of-that-time 'fountain pens'.

Time in office hangs. 8 to 4 is dead slow while time from 5 to 9 flies at a very fast pace. I think i will always remain a person who feels difficulty and hates to get up early in the morning no matter how early he sleeps. And i recently came to know that this laziness is also by fate.

Allah Willing, In next posts i will try to share something more from my childhood stories. It is nice way to remember the time that can't be rewound back.

Almost 12 pm on the dial. I must end the post. Although it's a random ending today but i hope in the days to come there will be improvements.